Happy Sunday!
I wanted to get something off my chest before the work week began. Many of you are returning to the work place now things are opening up. Working in the office space for some 20 years, I’ve seen many things and worked with many different personalities some nice, some irritating and some not so nice…. (Arrgh, make you wanna quit, right???)!! keep reading.... :)
So here it goes.
I have some workplace scenario questions: Have you ever worked with a person who is not a team player? (Everyone can probably attest to this). If the office phone rings, will they wait for you to pick it up? Or how about when they take the last pack of copy paper and you end up walking by the printer station only to see the paper tray empty when you’ve got a big meeting to get ready for? Here is the worst one: you are always being called on for help for their tasks and duties so you come to save them. But when it’s time for your work to be completed you can’t call on them because they don’t know your job duties or they aren’t available. It makes you want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!
But have no fear- you are not alone!!!
You may work with people who chose to stay in their lane but there is a way to deal with this. The first step is to identify the type of person you work with. Are they selfish? Are they always blaming others? Are they reactive or proactive? Chances are they may be lacking emotional intelligence. Then act accordingly. What the heck is Emotional Intelligence? Good question. I never heard about this term until I joined the State Government and took a Fred Pryor Class on it. You all know Fred Pryor: the classic, proverbial affordable trainer extraordinaire that many small businesses and large businesses and corporations use to train their staff. I really enjoyed the material! You get to get out of work for a day and learn a new skill or reinforce your current skill set and go home early for the day with lots of notes and a workbook on the topic. Yes! Home before rush hour… yeeaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Anyway back to the gist…..
The above scenarios are representative of the classic needy, selfish coworker who has only one thing in mind: completion of their work and their work only. So what is your response to this? Saying no. “No I am not available or “Sorry, I have a deadline to meet” or suggesting they take turns picking up paper from the storage closet and refiling the paper in the copier. It’s simple. All of these boil down to team work and implementing interpersonal skills. That self-centered coworker may not know that they are being selfish. (It’s possible). That is why it is up to you to let them know. But in a professional way. You can be assertive and professional. It’s your right. Take the lead. You’ve been trained to work together with others. That is why you are recognizing these issues in your colleague(s).
Your recognition of these issues is a sign of high emotional intelligence and selflessness. For many people, Emotional Intelligence comes as a result of innate personality traits, proclivities, or from a direct result of life’s lessons & challenges.
However for some, Emotional Intelligence (also known as EI/EQ), is in lack due to the individual’s upbringing, sheltered lifestyle or other life situation. Let’s face it, not everyone was born with the ability to be cognizant of others’ space, feelings or emotions. As an empath, for me, this was a natural attribute.
So, what is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand, recognize and manage your own emotions and those of people around you. Here are some of the attributes of a person who possesses Emotional Intelligence or EI/EQ:
· Self-Reflection
· Empathy
· Self-Awareness
· Relationship Management
· Motivation
· Social Skills
· Self-Regulation
The attributes above also make for a great leader. Your position can be a support staff, waiter, janitor, CEO, Director or trainee. It doesn’t matter what your position is because everyone has a role to play and everyone is important in any organization. A successful business simply cannot run alone by a single person or solo effort.
It takes a TEAM. Period. This is no cliché.
Emotionally Intelligent people aren’t afraid of change and they aren’t afraid of stepping outside of their comfort zones.
They take risks.
They are bold and audacious.
They don’t allow their weakness or inability to understand something stop them from moving forward.
What do they do if they don’t know the answer and no one is available to guide them to the solution? They either Google it or research the answer. If those options don’t work then, they call on the next person available and they don’t take that person away from their own personal tasks.
They strategize with available resources.
The emotionally intelligent person is balanced or if they aren’t exactly balanced (this is a challenge at times for anyone) then they seek ways to become balanced.
Practicing self-care like taking breaks and taking lunch is a must! For years, I worked as an assistant to a CEO and I sacrificed my own time to fetch her lunch and catch up on work that was unanticipated due to volume. Why did I do this? Because I thought that it would earn me brownie points but no one cared. I looked foolish, simple and self-sabotaged myself to make someone else happy while I worked and munched on some snacks all while becoming burnt out and frazzled. Talk about unbalanced and foolish!
Don’t do this!!! Take your breaks and you will refresh your mind and body while eliminating potential brain and body burnout. If you get burned out that will be a day of leave for mental health reasons and then you will use FMLA and next thing you will end up getting replaced by someone else!! It’s a cycle of insanity. Take your breaks and get some fresh air. Your body and mind will thank you. You will be good for someone else and especially for your work and most importantly, yourself.
Finally, Emotional Intelligent people are gracious, reasonable and mentally they feel great! No they aren’t perfect but they are approachable and possess common sense.
Low Emotionally Intelligent People are:
· Burned Out
· Argumentative
· Always Blaming Others
· Unaccountable/Making excuses
· Capable of having emotional outbursts
· Selfish
· Closed Minded
· Not Good Listeners
· Resistant to Change
Interpersonal Skills
Finally, interpersonal skills are another important attribute to possess in the workplace, in business and (in general) in life. Interpersonal skills are defined as the essential social skills people use to interact with one another and others. These skills will help you build and maintain relationships, good business relationships as well as become a well-rounded person. Interpersonal skills will help you build, nurture and effectively connect personally (yes of course) with your family, your mate and with your friends and associates.
Here are some key interpersonal attributes:
Verbal communication
Non-verbal communication
Written communication
Listening Skills
Teamwork
Empathy
Dependability
Negotiation
Problem-Solving
Decision-Making
Assertiveness
Attitude
I plan to delve more into interpersonal relationships in my next blog… so stay tuned!
For more information please visit the Global Leadership Foundation by clicking the link below:
This website offers tons of information regarding emotional intelligence as well as definitions, examples and trainings. It’s based in Australia but the information and content is within reach on their website.
Global Leadership Foundation even offers a great personality test:
Check it out:
In closing,
Have a great day at the office or in your home on ZOOM or Google Meets or where ever you conduct business or interact with your colleagues and friends and family. Interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence are critical for any relationship whether in person or virtual.
Cheers!
Pamela
@4DGirl3DWorld_
Or click the link: https://z-p42.www.instagram.com/4dgirl3dworld_/?hl=en
Credit:
Model below is courtesy of https://globalleadershipfoundation.com/rheti/test.html
Comments