Here is a reflective essay that I penned for my final project at University of Maryland University College now University of Maryland Global Campus
Introduction
As I sit down to reflect on the past several years as an undergraduate student at the University of Maryland Global Campus, I am proud of the strides that I have made academically, professionally, and personally. Over the course of the past years of my undergraduate career, I have encountered myriad challenges, setbacks, obstacles, labels from mental health professionals such as attention deficit disorder (ADD), anxiety disorder and various financial hardships to finance my degree, however, I vowed to never give up on my dream of completing college. Education was always at the forefront of my family, where everyone in my family attended college and completed a higher level of academic prep or private schooling. My parents were college graduates (masters and bachelor’s degrees) and transplants to the Washington, D.C. area. My paternal grandparents, Winfred Kent Alston, Sr., and Mayme Eady Isabell Alston were educators in South Carolina. Education is proudly woven into my lineage and DNA.
My grandfather served as principal of Robert E. Smalls High School in Beaufort, South Carolina from 1937-1962. Through his outstanding work with the school and community he founded the first African American Boy Scout Troup and high school band in Beaufort County. (Avery Research Center, 2022). Principal Alston bought boxer Joe Lewis, Mary McLeod Bethune and opera singer Marian Anderson to Beaufort. (Alston, 1987). My grandmother, Mayme Eady Isabell Alston, M. ed, was a business teacher for the Beaufort County School system. Together, my paternal grandparents impacted the lives of the members of the low country community during a time of transition and racial injustice.
As I prepare for commencement next month, I am truly honored to take part in the Alston family legacy of education, excellence, and didactics. Several words come to mind as I write this essay, growth, discipline, pressure, endurance, persistence and withstand. The thesis of this essay is as follows, through my UMGC education I have grown, gained discipline, sustained pressure, weathered persistence, and endured hardship. Each word is a contributing attribute to describe my college career, journey of maturation and matriculation. I am reminded of one of my favorite scriptures from the Bible, from the book of Ephesians 6:13, which states, “Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, stand firm.” This scripture is one of my favorites because I have learned as a result of adversities in life you must stand firm, remain steadfast and become surer no matter what. Adversities are not meant to depress you but to give perspective; to mature, purge and develop you. Compared to when I first began University, I am more developed, pruned, and matured as a result of life experiences, challenges and obstacles to pursue my college education.
Additionally, I like to highlight the word withstand, which denotes certain difficulties, many of which can extend beyond one’s control. To stand firm means to be “constant and not be moved by difficulties,” one may face. “Withstanding” in the Greek is synonymous with the word resist. Resist in this context means to resist the obstacles and push through your adversities, difficulties, or whatever stands in your way in order to accomplish your dreams and goals. The last word phrase of the scripture, “stand firm,” denotes to be in a mind state of consistency or to be of a steadfast mind; one who does not hesitate or does not waiver. (BLB, Strong’s). This phrase infers that you are ready or prepared to face what life sends your way, no matter what; you continue to dream and accomplish your goals. This is the mindset that I had to adopt and imbibe as I faced myriads of setbacks mentally and existentially. I will analyze and reflect on three coursework examples from each respective class which are contemplative of my decision to withstand and stand as I experienced growth, discipline, pressure, endurance, and persistence. As I write this essay, I remain in a mind state to withstand, to overcome mental blocks to successfully synthesize and analyze the gist of this activity.
Communication and Gender 324, Spring 2021- Discipline and Pressure
During this course, I explored key concepts as they related to language & gender contexts, workplace scenarios, and interpersonal messages. I investigated how communication influences gender and how gender affects the ways in which we communicate intrapersonally and interpersonally. The role of gender in personal and professional relationships as well as the role gender plays in culture, society and the media are all based on effective communication. I learned to be more cognizant in my communication with the other sex and became even more vigilant of what I said and how I expressed it in my conversations. I completed a research paper on Deborah Tannen’s genderlect theory which theorized that people have distinct ways to communicate which are either masculine or feminine. A person’s culture decided what type of dialect the person has. Communication between the genders exists in a cross-cultural format. The discipline required for this course was unprecedented yet rewarding. I had a bit of trouble with collecting the research for this course and staying on task due to my son being admitted to the hospital for a period of two weeks, however, the professor worked with me as I worked under pressure to complete my studies and split time between the hospital visits and study. My discipline level increased, and I found myself making tough decisions on what and who was tremendously important; (friends began to drop off), as well as what I must eradicate and eliminate to accomplish my academic goals while caring for my son and working full time. I received an “A” in this course because of my steadfast discipline and pressure to meet deadlines within a tight time.
Small Business Management 335, Fall 2021-Endurance
My business class, Small Business Management 335, was necessary for me as it helped me understand the basics of business (I have never taken a business class before), and I learned diligence in writing an 80- page report on the basics of business management. Learning a new skill took patience, diligence, and sacrifice. During this time, I discovered a new level of discipline that I never knew existed within me. I became frustrated because I was having trouble processing the information and new concepts. The layout of the class remained the same: introductions, weekly discussion posts and responses to your classmates; however, the weekly research and readings proved to be overwhelming. I decided to devise a strategy: I created a chart to track my weekly readings, strategic study schedule and time for discussion posts/responses. This method worked for me, and the workload did not seem as overwhelming. I was proud of myself because not only did I create a system that produced results for my work production, I also purposed to sacrifice my sleep schedule and stay up until 3:00 a.m. in the morning each weekend in order to read the content: create additional charts, research in detail to have an appropriate response to my classmates’ posts and provide visuals in my report.
I met endurance, which is defined as the ability to exert oneself and remain active for a prolonged period, as well as its ability to resist, withstand hardship or adversity and recover. (Merriam-Webster 2022). I was so proud, as I set a standard for myself; and by week four, I finally had the hang of the material, and my study schedule was effective. Initially the professor was annoyed with my writings in the discussion posts (he did not feel that I attributed and quoted my sources properly) however, he genuinely appreciated my work on the business report. I decided to make the extra effort to read all of the reading material and gingerly quote each piece of information accordingly. Consequently, my report was longer than anticipated, however, I received an “A” in the class. This was achieved through a level of endurance and hardship. The hardship was learning a new subject matter and endurance was accomplished through withstanding. Finally, I gained insight into the dynamics of having a small business which will help me in the future with my own LLC and entrepreneurship goals.
Journalism, Intro to News Writing 201, Winter 2022- sustained pressure, weathered persistence
One of the last classes of my final semester of undergraduate studies. It was a 201-level class and in my mind, I just knew that it would be a breeze and a break from the pressures of last fall. 2022 was starting off rocky as I found out that my best friend of 20-years passed away in his sleep after a lengthy illness and leg amputation. Next, for weeks, me, my son and sister were sick with the flu, it was a tough winter and one wintry morning in early January on the way to work, I slipped and fell on a patch of black ice. (Yelp!) and to make matters worse, at the time, I did not realize it, I would soon test positive for stage 2 breast cancer. I never, ever got sick in my entire life, except for the flu, sinus head colds and panic attacks.
Journalism 201 was utterly unique, challenging, and unprecedented. Fortunately for me, I started the class early, a week in advance as soon as it opened. I had completed the week one activities by the time the class officially started, as this was a big help. Everything that I thought about writing or the rules of grammar took a back seat, it was not going to be helpful. Journalism 201 was like swimming in water without a life jacket on and you cannot really swim so you hold on to the sides of the pool while the waves crash over you and you never got a break to breathe, there was always work and rules to learn.
Learning new subject material and the technique of journalistic, newspaper writing brought a new level of pressure as I had frequent panic attacks due to my internal pressure to perform and be on time. I can honestly attest to the improvement of my professional writings, impeccable time management and communication at work to complete my meeting minutes, collaborate for work productivity and to produce interoffice documents. I excelled and received 100% scores on all of my discussions and contributed to the fullest extent in discussion posts and feedback for my classmates. I was obsessed with performing and receiving high remarks; I learned and discovered a new level of desire to perform academically, and I vowed to remain consistent in my efforts, nothing or now one would break my concentration. I even increased in my spiritual prowess and discipline.
Journalism 201 proved to be phenomenal and enlightening as well as applicable to the current public sphere of democracy, mass media, politics, and entertainment. Personally, I homed in on my analytical and expressive writing skills where I felt liberated to speak on a variety of topics during the discussion exercises. The readings were extensive and typically ranged from five to six pieces of material per discussion post. As I was reading the syllabus, fear and panic began to rise in me. I suddenly realized that I might have made a mistake by registering for this class, however, my academic advisor recommended it. The instructor wrote the following words as I read over and over on the screen, “this is not an easy course,” (Oh my Lord, I began to think, how will I complete this level of work along with another heavy, three-credit course and work full time?)
There were two discussion posts per week and two discussion posts that you had to respond to with regards to your classmates. All together per week that was the equivalent of five per week times eight weeks equaled forty posts: what an experience of sacrifice and discipline! Not to mention the extra posts that I decided to post just for fun, because I felt compelled to dismantle disinformation and misinformation in my classmates’ posts.
Additionally, Journalism 201 taught me a new level of confidence in my writings as well as my expressive and verbal communication. Not only did I learn a new level of discipline, sacrifice, and endurance, I learned and explored a variety of theories and concepts that can be applied to current and future events. With all that I encountered personally and academically, I successfully sustained pressure and weathered persistence to push through the panic attacks and fear of inadequate writings, I pushed through the wee hours of the morning just to stay ahead and on top of my work assignment deadlines. I persisted until my fingers were clamping from carpal tunnel and fatigue. I would come home from work on a Friday night, spend time with my son, have dinner, read and write as I persisted until 8:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning with eyeballs red, sore and tired from staring at the computer screen.
Discipline allowed me to refuse frivolous activities, social media posts and scrolls, outings with friends and phone calls and I completely abhorred television as it was a great distraction to my mind. Everything changed including my habits: I stopped dating, prayed more and stopped going out to save money. I persisted to write my first news story, create forty, thorough discussion posts in an 8-week period, obtain and conduct a successful interview for my news story along with other assignments consequently earning a “B” in the class. I divided up my school workload throughout my workday, staying late at work to avoid distractions and finishing more when I arrived home at night. My discipline, persistence, and desire to complete my work with excellence never ceased. Meriam Webster defines discipline as self-control, orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior; control gained by enforcing obedience or order. (Merriam-Webster, 2022). I accomplished and gained self-control by establishing ubiquitous order in my academic, professional, personal and spiritual life.
Conclusion
Many students express how they are the first in their family to attend college. Interestingly enough, I am the last in my generation to complete college. Life as an intermittent college student who was a 17-year-old single parent, daughter, and sister over the course of two decades was not an easy path. As I reflect over the years, I wish I had finished school sooner, but I did not materialize due to immaturity and other factors. I could have been further ahead or more stable economically. But here I am at the finish line, I made it and I did not give up. I realized that I did not bring my family honor and consequently I felt dismayed and inadequate because I did not complete school, however, I continued to press on and immersed myself in work, socialization, working a part time, 20-year career in hospitality and attending to the affairs and advocacy of my special needs son.
I learned to overcome obstacles and accept adversity as a way of life, an opportunity to press on, rise above and circumvent. Through it all, I never lost sight of what I could become because of attaining my dreams and graduating college. Yes, my journey was long, arduous, unconventional and nonlinear, starting at Bowie State University fresh out of high school, taking a hiatus to work and raise my son, then refocusing by attending Prince George’s Community College and back to University of Maryland University College and later, University of Maryland Global Campus; however, I never lost sight of what I truly wanted and so badly desired: matriculation and taking part in the family legacy through education. Not one family member offered to pay my way to college, buy a textbook or sow a seed and I never asked for help. My grandmother bought me a car as a gift for high school graduation and I was grateful for that.
I continued to press quietly. I did not tell family members about my clandestine attendance of classes; many family naysayers would ask, “when you are going to finish?” Some friends would ask, “wow, are you still in school?” I have even been called a failure by a close relative. At that point, I vowed to never speak of my moves and decisions; therefore, an inner resilience, introversion of tenacity and determination was created and fashioned. Through my perseverance to obtain a college education through University of Maryland University Maryland Global Campus, I attained new levels of discipline, successfully sustained pressure, weathered persistence, rejection, and endured hardship. I am glad that I reached the point of fulfillment of a lifelong dream as I sit and look on the horizon with anticipation of the future to pursue my next level of academic and professional goals, dreams, and visions.
I dedicate my degree to the legacy of my legendary paternal grandparents, W. Kent Alston, Sr., and Mayme Eady Isabell Alston of the “low country” Beaufort, South Carolina. Thank you for instilling a spirit of tenacity, education and resilience in me.
Love
Pam
@4DGirl3DWorld_
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